Print

[lenderguy]

Texaswatchdog, on the old (now replaced) official forums I have seen other borrowers post their apologies and try to state where they are and why their payments are late, and receive a chewing out as well as receive a few supporting messages. I think this is one of those "damed if you do, damed if you don't" situations. I can certainly understand a borrower not wanting to face us with an explanation.

It would be great if delinquent borrowers could come on here and explain their situation, maybe even ask for another loan.   Just kidding on that last part. Unfortunately, there are a few jaded members who ruin things for everyone else. And as I have already learned, there is not any real moderation or rules against people being mean or using profanity at one another on here. It would be a total set up for a delinquent borrower to come on here.

Yup, and again, the borrower has nothing to gain from coming here.  It makes absolute sense to stay away.

[NewHorizon]

But not being "emotionally up to" facing those lenders seems pretty wimpy to me.

I've got her full name and work number.
R U saying I should post that?

[NewHorizon]

justincase/mr deluxe posts here all the time & i've never seen anyone give him any grief

Yes, I know.
But I still found myself without the confidence to tell her she won't get grief here.

ETA: maybe somebody else does?
... anybody....?

[ira01]

But not being "emotionally up to" facing those lenders seems pretty wimpy to me.

I've got her full name and work number.
R U saying I should post that?

Do you really think that is the same as simply linking her listing so that people can read it?  Most employers would be pretty unhappy if an employee started getting a bunch of personal calls at work.  With the listing, the worse that could happen is that she would get a bunch of nasty PM's -- big deal.  And if she's really so fragile that a mere PM will drive her to the loony bin, she can set her preferences to disallow PM's from lenders.

[NewHorizon]

But not being "emotionally up to" facing those lenders seems pretty wimpy to me.

I've got her full name and work number.
R U saying I should post that?

Do you really think that is the same as simply linking her listing so that people can read it?  Most employers would be pretty unhappy if an employee started getting a bunch of personal calls at work.  With the listing, the worse that could happen is that she would get a bunch of nasty PM's -- big deal.  And if she's really so fragile that a mere PM will drive her to the loony bin, she can set her preferences to disallow PM's from lenders.

You're forgetting your earlier message:

I think the lenders on the loan have a right to all available information.

Or maybe the definition of the English word "all" is up to individual interpretation...?

justincase/mr deluxe posts here all the time & i've never seen anyone give him any grief

Yes, I know.
But I still found myself without the confidence to tell her she won't get grief here.

ETA: maybe somebody else does?
... anybody....?

<crickets>

Right - if her fears (and mine) are truly unfounded, somebody would step up and assure her/us that she won't get grief from anything here.

[onthefence]

Right - if her fears (and mine) are truly unfounded, somebody would step up and assure her/us that she won't get grief from anything here.

Well let me tell you how it goes.

First someone asks her a question that makes her feel all uncomfortable, because well... there is no good answer.
Next someone starts pointing out the discrepancies between the loan listing and reality.
Borrower A lashes out.
Lender B lashes back.
Borrower A & Lender A, B, C continue escalating back & forth lashings.
Borrower A complains about how abused he/she is.

The only way to to make it out of this one is to not lash out or respond to anything that appears to be an insult & just stick with the facts.

The baseball field owner posted here & after a little bit of back & forth people got more interested in trying to figure out solutions.

It really all depends on a borrower's personality.

[onthefence]

She goes on to strongly suggest in that message that he's been very unprofessional with his unresponsiveness.

Might I now note that the unprofessionalism & unresponsiveness now may appear to be more along the lines of her not being able to get the answer she wants.

And what is she doing with a debt consolidation shop so soon after her bankruptcy & consolidating her debt here with Prosper?  In theory, the Prosper Bank loan was the only one she had left.

[ira01]

But not being "emotionally up to" facing those lenders seems pretty wimpy to me.

I've got her full name and work number.
R U saying I should post that?

Do you really think that is the same as simply linking her listing so that people can read it?  Most employers would be pretty unhappy if an employee started getting a bunch of personal calls at work.  With the listing, the worse that could happen is that she would get a bunch of nasty PM's -- big deal.  And if she's really so fragile that a mere PM will drive her to the loony bin, she can set her preferences to disallow PM's from lenders.

You're forgetting your earlier message:

I think the lenders on the loan have a right to all available information.

Or maybe the definition of the English word "all" is up to individual interpretation...?

No, but you should focus on the "available," not the "all."  Her loan listing is publicly available to all registered lenders, and I made it easier for lenders by providing the link.  Her work phone number is not "available" except insomuch as she gave it to one specific person. 

[Texaswatchdog]

Right - if her fears (and mine) are truly unfounded, somebody would step up and assure her/us that she won't get grief from anything here.

Well let me tell you how it goes.

First someone asks her a question that makes her feel all uncomfortable, because well... there is no good answer.
Next someone starts pointing out the discrepancies between the loan listing and reality.
Borrower A lashes out.
Lender B lashes back.
Borrower A & Lender A, B, C continue escalating back & forth lashings.
Borrower A complains about how abused he/she is.

The only way to to make it out of this one is to not lash out or respond to anything that appears to be an insult & just stick with the facts.

The baseball field owner posted here & after a little bit of back & forth people got more interested in trying to figure out solutions.

It really all depends on a borrower's personality.

This is actuality a pretty good analysis about on how most conflicts escalate. However, you left out one important factor. It also depends on a lender's personality. It takes two to tango.

[Shenandoah]

Right - if her fears (and mine) are truly unfounded, somebody would step up and assure her/us that she won't get grief from anything here.

Well let me tell you how it goes.

First someone asks her a question that makes her feel all uncomfortable, because well... there is no good answer.
Next someone starts pointing out the discrepancies between the loan listing and reality.
Borrower A lashes out.
Lender B lashes back.
Borrower A & Lender A, B, C continue escalating back & forth lashings.
Borrower A complains about how abused he/she is.

The only way to to make it out of this one is to not lash out or respond to anything that appears to be an insult & just stick with the facts.

The baseball field owner posted here & after a little bit of back & forth people got more interested in trying to figure out solutions.

It really all depends on a borrower's personality.

This is actuality a pretty good analysis about on how most conflicts escalate. However, you left out one important factor. It also depends on a lender's personality. It takes two to tango.

There are enough lenders here with varying personalities to more than fill the roles of Lenders A, B, and C in the above cycle.

[NewHorizon]

No, but you should focus on the "available," not the "all."  Her loan listing is publicly available to all registered lenders, and I made it easier for lenders by providing the link.  Her work phone number is not "available" except insomuch as she gave it to one specific person. 

What one may call a convenience to the lenders, others may call a blatant disregard for the borrowers wishes.  The latter is certainly how a borrower will see it - not to mention a few lenders.

And if this borrower sees this thread, I wouldn't be surprised if communications abruptly ceases.  And no more new information will be made "available" to the lenders. 

I don't think any lender wants that.

But maybe I'm wrong...?

[ira01]

What one may call a convenience to the lenders, others may call a blatant disregard for the borrowers wishes.  The latter is certainly how a borrower will see it - not to mention a few lenders.

Whatever.  Personally, I don't care a whole lot about the wishes of a borrower that declares BK, needs a consolidation and tax debt loan less than 2 years later, and then promptly goes DQ on that loan.  Maybe the borrower ought to worry about THAT (not whether her comments can be tied to her listing, which (so far as I saw) did not disclose any PII anyway).

And if this borrower sees this thread, I wouldn't be surprised if communications abruptly ceases.  And no more new information will be made "available" to the lenders. 

That's quite possible, but if it happened I think it would be more likely due to the questions raised about the borrowers' credit timeline (BK, consolidation/tax debt loan, DQ on that loan), and matters such as that which have been discussed in this thread, rather than the linking of her (already publicly available to lenders) listing.  Maybe the borrower should be explaining how she so quickly wound up in a financial pickle again following her BK "fresh start."

But if you're so worried about it, ask a mod to move this from the Lobby to Lenders-Verified.

[red12049]

We have a borrower who is at least trying to do the right thing, and the majority reaction here is to attack and condemn her for her past.  Hope I never make a mistake around you guys.

R

[onthefence]

We have a borrower who is at least trying to do the right thing, and the majority reaction here is to attack and condemn her for her past.  Hope I never make a mistake around you guys.

R

The question is if she accurately portrayed herself in the loan application.  If she did not, that would not be considered a 'mistake'.

[ira01]

We have a borrower who is at least trying to do the right thing, and the majority reaction here is to attack and condemn her for her past.  Hope I never make a mistake around you guys.

The question is if she accurately portrayed herself in the loan application.  If she did not, that would not be considered a 'mistake'.

And not only that, but she seems to be repeating her "past."  That suggests someone who doesn't learn from their "mistakes."